The word entanglement has some negative connotations: it’s a word we might use when we feel trapped. It’s a word we might use when something’s gotten complicated, confused.
It’s synonyms are words like, “involvement”, “embroilment,” and then the reference to “romantic entanglement,” noting a romantic relationship that’s gotten messy. When the two of us began thinking about this blog—a place where husband and wife write, side by side—we realized this would be a gathering place for women and men to come who are entangled, who are embroiled, who are involved in the messy-beautiful, confusing-awesome, frustrating-redeeming holy . . . yes, holy . . . entanglement of marriage.
We’ve spent the last year writing Loop and WiRE, email devotionals, for women and men—and from that experience, we learned a lot . . . about you . . .about relationships . . . about the desire for women and for men to stop hiding and be real about how hearts break when marriages aren’t working as expected, as hoped.
We get it.
You wrote emails. We connected on Facebook and Twitter. You reached us from all over the world.
We get it.
We’ve been married almost 18 years, with three kids under the age of twelve, and we know what it’s like to be busy and overwhelmed and beguiled by a culture that values money and achievement more than honesty, humility, and sacrifice for the sake of love.
We’re not counselors. We’re not pastors. We’re not experts, even. We certainly aren’t perfect. We don’t have our act together. But this is what we do know:
We know what it means to desire companionship, intimacy, connection. We know what it means to fall in love with a person and then worry if they ‘get’ us, know us . . . even desire us. We know what it means to struggle, to fight, letting pride get the best of us and wanting nothing more, in the heat of battle, than to win.
We know what it means to have the famous verses on the pages of 1 Corinthians read over you at your wedding, and years later to want to cut those pages out and fold them in half, again and again and again, until you have a tiny, hard cube/ball of paper . . . perfect for flicking (as hard as you can) at your spouse, targeting the bridge of their nose.
We also know what it means to hit bottom. We know what it means to ask for help from the Holy Spirit and to struggle, daily, to follow our King, Jesus Christ. We know how hard it is to abandon selfishness for the sake of trying to love another person well. We know what it means to push through to actually knowing one another and really encouraging one another.
We know what it means to ask God to give us eyes to see what He sees in our spouse, more than simply what we see on our own, with our own clouded human vision (through which, ironically, it’s quite tough to aim a cube/ball of paper—with any kind of accuracy, at least). We know what it means to fail, to fall, to do marriage terribly, and then lift our eyes and let God take our hands and step forward, once again, into his messy-beautiful, holy entanglement.
Holy Entanglement is a place for you to come and hear the voices of a husband and a wife who have fought against each other, fought for each other, and have been fought for by their King. It’s a place to hear the voices of a husband and a wife who are in the midst of the daily entanglement of marriage—and who don’t want to settle for a marriage that is just “okay.” It’s a place to hear the voices of a husband and a wife who want to want nothing more than to be fully entangled in the love of their holy God.
Come join us. Fully-holy entangled.
We’re here to encourage each other on.
You’re not alone.
What would you most like to see here, in this blog about marriage? We’d love to hear your input, in the comments.